Comfort [3126]

Everything will be alright...

I created this since the end of July but I haven't finished it until now. I was sick and drown in sadness, which it makes it unbearable for me to continue this vent artwork.

Outside on the internet, people have followers and friends to support each other but in reality, those who spend the most time online are often lonely in person. You can have many likes, views and fans but it will never fill your empty feeling in real life. This is mainly because most people you meet online are all over the world unless it's a coincidence somebody lives close around your area. I've also seen popular celebrities on the internet were never heard in person, despite millions of subscribers.

Going online is sometimes envisioned as an escapism world as many anime shows often have a background setting of characters transported into a fantasy world from another dimension or universe. Once you step out of using the internet, you can realise how lonely you are if you don't have somebody to connect with in person.

I've always see Sci as the type to disconnect from everybody else as everything is available online in his hands by technology. I also personally like to be alone because I would feel more freedom and independent but when there's something you want to share during your adventure outside your home, you begin to feel hesitated as there's nobody gets to experience it with you.

Most of my life, I try not to think about it but when you start to overthink about your own future, you become aware of yourself and question if it's okay to keep being alone forever? I even heard people told me that I would be the loneliest person on Earth because I don't want to get married, have kids, a family or even just a soulmate or friend if I continue spending my time online more than the things that happen around me.

Usually, I discard those thoughts because there are some people you met online are also real people too and possibly going through the same thing as I do. I have friends online who wish to run away or escape their current life too until one of us came up with a solution to have a goal to travel outside their country just to live in a better place, such as coming over to Australia and meet me in person.

After hearing stories and dreams from them, it gave me hope and makes me think all the possibilities that we can do together such as hanging out and visit each other's places in person. It also gives me comfort and a new goal to keep on living as my friends from online are working hard on theirs.

For those who know, Sci and Edge along with other skeletons all came from a different universe or timeline as I relate that to different countries and places around the world. Either Sci or Edge shown in my artwork is either one of us. I thought about having Edge transparent like a ghost or imagination but I rather have him physically there with Sci in person as people can have other interpretations of why is Edge hugging Sci from behind.

I thought of "I'm Here" as the title but changed to "Comfort" since I also have my moments where I have breakdowns, wanting somebody to be there for me in person for other reasons too. Sometimes I can be blind from my depression and forget there are others supporting me through online as I imagine them as Edge's role. I even encounter people online where they're not at the best mind to talk to, wishing I could comfort them in person too.

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Honestly, I didn't want to finish this because I grow frustration as I digitally paint this but at least it's better than me being upset or unmotivated to continue. I didn't give up afterwards until I finally publish this as the finished work.

There's a lot of cons during the progress of making. The anatomy is difficult because Edge's arm seems longer so he could reach and hug Sci. It was hard to find a middle ground from using a human body reference with my skeleton's anatomy (who are smaller and shorter than an average human). Edge's fur from his jacket is the worst for shading in my digital paintings by using the smudge tool. Some of the other shadings aren't perfect like Sci's collar and the rest of Edge's jacket.

If I have to say something good about this illustration, I believe the use of lower saturated blue is the best colour choice for the mood. Only Sci's tears are brighter and lighter than the rest of the setting. Overall, even though this drawing isn't my best, I still nailed down to how I exactly envisioned it from my own memory. I've always imagined this every time Edge tries to comfort Sci as he's bad with words and rather show affection over telling.

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