44

Series: PSYCHO-LOGIC (Original)
Rating: Suggestive Dark Themes (+16)

Word Count: 483 words (2,590 characters)
Last Updated: 21st November, 2025

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I just woke up. My right hand was tingling with electric sparks from my lucid dream. As my eyes open, I find my index finger pointing on the metal ruler where I had left it lying on my bed — along with other junks and stuff I couldn't find space in my room. It landed on the number 44.

44? What does it mean? Is something going to happen in 44 seconds—? No, a minute went by and nothing happened. Maybe in 44 minutes? Days? Or do you think...?

No, I'm not sure. The moment I woke up, I don't remember if I met a grim reaper in my dream today. They visited me once during one of my sleep paralyses ever since I defeated the shapeshifting demon who tried to take advantage of my body as if I evaded death from that nightmare. It became a norm to find something different on my body after waking up from certain vivid dreams as a sign of divine intervention or some sort.

So... Am I going to live until I'm 44?

My chest begins thumping. I haven't felt alive for a while. Now that's a thrilling thought.

Imagine knowing how many years you have to live. Maybe the thought ain't that bad for a pessimist mind throughout most of my life. I've been depressed for an awfully long time, stuck and still from the world. Only daydreams and nightmares bring me excitement you can't find anywhere else in reality. No wonder why people enjoy the "isekai" genres in fiction. And the idea of being gifted a deadline stamped on my life, rather than facing petty due dates in assignments day by day, now that's more interesting... It reminds me of the quote, "Memento Mori." Something about everyone will die one day? People, even me, forgot about that as life goes on. I guess it's reminding me if I don't make the best of my time, days and years before my life expires... Welp, that's that. The end! GAME OVER FOR REAL-REAL!

Speaking of which, I don't believe in faith, destiny or weird voodoo magical coincidences. But me? Going to die at the age of 44? Ha! I'll challenge life that I'll outlive my years! I could stick my middle finger and say "Fuck you!" to the sky by ending my life earlier—

Then again, I can't be bothered and return to my old ways of falling back into deep sleep. It's way more "fun" and easier than bidding farewell to the world. I don't mind staying on Earth, honestly — minus the politics, conflicts and brain-dead humans unaware they've been brainwashed by the media influence, which makes it harder to have interesting discussions with people. I enjoy watching how the world goes on and seek what's new that life can still offer.

...

Oh. I just realised I left my tea for over 45 minutes.

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Lol, I just started writing this after a woke up from my dream today and got inspired to write something vaguely related to one of the characters in UnderDespair (but not really, kinda)...? It's complicated.

Funny it took me around 44 minutes to finish writing this, but eventually, I'll update and fix my English writing mistakes.

Lastly, to anyone new to my PSYCHO-LOGIC series, they're just a collection of original stories I wrote from a psychotic point of view or "logic" in a somewhat diary entry. They're mostly dark like this, and they're usually based on my daydreams and nightmares.